This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Step-By-Step Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah Planning Guide: Step 1 and 2

We love this series of tips offering great advice on how to plan your child's bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. The following Step-by-step Bar and Bat Mitzvah Planning Guide incorporates the tips and advice of dozens of MitzvahMavens across the country: rabbis, cantors, party planners and parents. 

Step One in the series: Plan Your Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah Date

Contact your synagogue when your child turns 9 or 10 to inquire about its Bar Mitzvah program; many require your child complete a certain number of years in their religious schools or Jewish day school. In general, small synagogues often have the flexibility to let you pick your own date while larger ones, which hold dozens of bat/ bar mitzvahs each year, tend to assign you a date -- though you’re usually free to switch if circumstances warrant it. Of course, if you're planning an independent service, outside the synagogue system, your date is up to you. 

If your date is set, skip ahead to Step #2, Planning a Budget. If the date is your choice, decide if you want to: 

  1. hold the bar/ bat mitzvah as close to your child’s birthday as possible 
  2. hold the bat/ bar mitzvah during a season you love (such as the spring) or that’s best for important elderly and/or out-of-town guests to attend. 
  3. select a Torah or Haftorah portion that is especially meaningful to you and set the bat/ bar mitzvah on the date that portion is read.
Try to avoid: 
  • Excluding your child from the decision to move the bar/ bat mitzvah away from his/her birth date. Some kids have strong opinions about this.

  • Setting a date when another child you know is having a bar/ bat mitzvah

Find out what's happening in Chappaqua-Mount Kiscowith free, real-time updates from Patch.

  • Setting a date when your child’s friends are out of town on holidays, three-day weekends or summer, spring or winter breaks. Be sure to check the latest version of your school calendar. And just to be extra safe, consider asking if the school has added any teacher training or report writing days on Friday but not yet put them on the calendar.

  • Picking a weekend when there’s a convention or large-scale event in your area. You may find it hard to book a reception venue or block of hotel rooms at affordable prices. 

  • Find out what's happening in Chappaqua-Mount Kiscowith free, real-time updates from Patch.

    Step Two: Plan Your Budget

    This blog is brought to you by Yussel's Place Judaica Arts and Gifts. Your source for Judaica and all things Jewish. Bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings, holidays, occasions. Featuring top Judaica designers from around the world, a great online selection, plus unparalleled personal service. Visit us online, call us at 516-223-7050, or stop by our store at 30A Merrick Avenue, Merrick, New York. 
    We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

    The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?