Parenting is so much more than 500-700 words, which is all you can really write on a Patch blog. Some people found it funny, and some people didn't. But that's what makes the world go 'round--some people love chocolate ice cream, some people love pistachio. Me? I REALLY don't like pistachio--but I can still get along fine with people who like pistachio. In fact I married one!
I think it's kinda human nature to connect with people who are interested in the same things. That's why people join clubs like Kiwanis, because they want to get involved in public service in their community, or they go to the library for a talk about gardening because they like to grow plants, or they join a church. Many young parents have found that they like to connect with other young parents online, through Twitter, blogs, websites--it's become an extension of the playground or PTA or playing field sidelines. People are just gravitating together online.
As the Internet not only opened a whole new world, but exploded our sense of community, people said, "Hey, I've had that same experience with my kids as that blogging mom wrote about on her blog. Maybe I can do that too!" Yes, there are lots of mommy bloggers, lots of car bloggers, lots of political bloggers...we gravitate toward the ones we like. Some Patches have pet bloggers, and people who want to talk about, read about, or even just eavesdrop on talk about pets, can do so--or not. Again, that's what makes the world go 'round.
What comes with the territory of blogging is that sometimes people don't agree--but just like the "gravitators" found the Internet made it easy to share, it also made things easy for the "disagreers" to share. And maybe that's another lesson from a 5-year-old--perhaps we need to learn how to share nicely.
It's tough when you're putting yourself out there by revealing personal experiences in your writing, and suddenly people not only disagree, but they tack on the judgement. "What kind of parent are you?!? Your kids sound like they're gonna be spoiled brats!" When I started writing an opinion column, the first time I got virtually hammered by someone who didn't agree, boy did it feel like a literal hammer. It's hard to hear negative criticism and not take it personally. Perhaps readers who haven't had the same experiences as the writer feel somewhat judged as a result, as if the blogger has said, "My way is the better way."
Suddenly, that's another thing the "gravitators" and the "disagreers" share: feeling judged.
So that's one of the not-so-nice parts of the Internet. Judgement is there for the making, and it's a really easy place to make it. And sometimes, you have to learn to take it, too. Oooh, another 5-year-old's lesson: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
The good thing? It's a big sandbox, and there's a lot of space for everyone. Just because the Internet made it easier to see who brought the buckets and shovels and who brought the Tonka trucks to knock down the sand mountains, doesn't mean we have to stay on opposite sides.
Another way to look at it? Perhaps there's one more lesson from a 5-year-old we can learn. The gravitators might love chocolate, and the disagreers might love pistachio, but in the end,everyone loves ice cream!
What do you think? Tell us in the comments! You can
But tantrums aren't funny and they shouldn't be acceptable. And they're especially not acceptable in front of people; even nanna & papa. I made sure not to take the little ones into Caldors (yesterday's Target) if they were tired or hungry, or just plain cranky that day. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to the shoppers around them. I expected them to sit still at meals in the house, and especially out. At church, they were never allowed to eat or drink, color, play with toys, video games, or mommy's cell phone. One hour of sitting quietly really isn't too much to ask of a five year old. I could go on all day. I have 4 kids, three big, and one little. Almost all parents have a sense of humor; it's impossible not to. But it's not humorous when there's disrespect, wild behavior, or when a child tries to pit one parent against the other. We reap what we sew. Today's 5 year old is tomorrow's teen, and next week's adult. Boundaries and a healthy dose of discipline go a long way. As parents, we owe it to our kids AND society to do the best we can. Don't be afraid to be the boss, they'll still love you anyway.
I agree with Theresa, who really summed it up nicely: "Today's 5-year old is tomorrow's teen, and next week's adult." If you think there's no credence to that, look no further than yesterday's headline describing the "cute" antics of the middle-schoolers that taunted the elderly bus monitor. One word: SHAMEFUL. Absolutely nothing cutesy about it. Who planted those seeds of disrespect, uncivil behavior, and outright cruelty? This was a sensitive blog offering that struck alot of chords, because quite frankly, the disrespect that parents allow for the sake of their lack of parenting, or "how cute is this I ask you??" is simply out of control and does have consequences. This blog offering touches on an issue I mentioned earlier. Blogs. People blog under the notion that the whole world is interested in and further, wholeheartedly in agreement, with their daily musings on what they ate for dinner, what their pet did today, or what their exercise regime is. I agree that, yes it's 2012, and technological advances have changed the way we share interests, bond, and exchange dialogue. But know that not everyone may subscribe to the content's message. Just because someone disagrees, doesn't make them a "hater" or an "attacker." If the author can't take disagreement, they should keep their personal lives personal and off the web.
What you found interesting, the rest of us found ridiculous.
I did not comment on the original column, but when I read it, my reaction was: this is the way to raise a spoiled brat! Throw a tantrum and you'll get your way every time. We agree on at least one thing: raising a kid is the hardest thing in the world -- and one of the things that makes it hard is that moms are never popular at the moment they set boundaries counter to a kid's desires. We agree on another thing: it's so important for a kid to know he or she is loved entirely (which sometimes means keeping a kid safe from his or her momentary whims.)