This Really Happens...What Would You Do in This Situation?

I recently attended a workshop at my daughter's high school where the school support personnel handed out scenarios of situations that have happened in the past with other students. They wanted to raise discussions and hear from the parents what they would do if this happened to them and their child. So now, I pose these questions to you so we can all hear from and learn from each other as to what might be an appropriate response to the issue at hand. 

Your teen asks if he can go to a party over the weekend. You call the house and confirm that a parent will be home. Your child calls you later from the party, telling you other kids are drinking and there does not seem to be an adult in the house. 

What do you do? 

I will start off by suggesting a few tips to dealing with your teen and parties.

Make sure your teen is aware of your own family "rules" about parties.

Hopefully you have had a discussion about drinking, drugs and being safe with your teen. Be aware that mostly all teens will try something at some point.. They can be very crafty about trying to sneak things (e.g. vodka in water bottles, your daughter telling you she is sleeping at Janie's house and Janie telling her mom she is sleeping at your house.) If your teen is aware that you will be checking in with her friend's parent they are less likely to attempt this lie. 

Walk your teen to the door.
Particularly if you do not know the family or the child it is a good idea to walk your child to the door of the party house, even despite their loud protests. If you look the adult in the eye when you meet them it creates a parent to parent bond. While the parent might be home, if they are up their own room with the door closed and the teens are all in the basement, many things could be going on of which they are not even aware. 

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation. If you would like to talk with me about it, you may call my office at 914-329-5355.